After 3 yrs of not being able to do the MC successfully (due to blissful happiness and having a person around who waits on me hand & foot and plies me with cheesecake at 3 am, 'just because'), I have committed to a full 30 days.
R is under strict orders not to ply me with anything non-lemonade/water/tea.
Here are the highlights from my day thus far:
The biggest issue for R is the fact that we found 17 morels this week in the woods.
R is under strict orders not to ply me with anything non-lemonade/water/tea.
Here are the highlights from my day thus far:
The biggest issue for R is the fact that we found 17 morels this week in the woods.
R: Are you sure you want to do this? We have a refrigerator full of morel mushrooms.
(at this point, I feel my will power slackening slightly, but quickly am able to smack it back into submission)
Me: Get the food saver out and freeze them. I can cook them later.
R: ... but they'll be squished flat!
Me: Then buy some damned FREEZER bags. You don't even like mushrooms!!
He brought home the lemons, the maple syrup, and the cayenne this afternoon. I didn't even have my first glass until about an hour ago. I wasn't hungry, I had a killer PMS headache going on, and I have been horribly cranky/crampy for the last three days.
My friend, G stopped over with her 2 girls to see the puppy and to show me the new Mercedes. When I answered the door, I must've had this 'look' about me.
G: What's wrong?
Me: It's the first day of my master cleanse
G: Ok, see ya later!
... and she quickly bounded off my porch with the girls to the safety of her new car.
I am clearly incredibly toxic right now and in serious need of a detox.
(at this point, I feel my will power slackening slightly, but quickly am able to smack it back into submission)
Me: Get the food saver out and freeze them. I can cook them later.
R: ... but they'll be squished flat!
Me: Then buy some damned FREEZER bags. You don't even like mushrooms!!
He brought home the lemons, the maple syrup, and the cayenne this afternoon. I didn't even have my first glass until about an hour ago. I wasn't hungry, I had a killer PMS headache going on, and I have been horribly cranky/crampy for the last three days.
My friend, G stopped over with her 2 girls to see the puppy and to show me the new Mercedes. When I answered the door, I must've had this 'look' about me.
G: What's wrong?
Me: It's the first day of my master cleanse
G: Ok, see ya later!
... and she quickly bounded off my porch with the girls to the safety of her new car.
I am clearly incredibly toxic right now and in serious need of a detox.
yeah, I'm talkin' Brittney Spears toxic
I really feel good about these next 30 days. It's odd doing it without having a show to do or photos to take. Honestly, the Master Cleanse works best when you are a. paid to do it and b. have a deadline (with wardrobe fittings)
(I do have one deadline- a cardiology appointment in June. That's a good reason to do this, I just realized)
It also works really well when you are SINGLE and/or UNHAPPY, of which I am currently neither.
(for those of you reading, let that be a lesson to you all! HAPPINESS MAKES YOU FAT!)
R: You're NOT fat.
Me: If my boobs have their own area code, then there's a problem
R: I don't see a problem with that at all
Yeah, I am still smaller than 70 percent of the people I know... but this is about HEALTH and the weight loss is actually secondary at this point.
(but, yeah, my clothes are all sized 5/6 and my rear end is decidedly a straight-up size 8/9 right now. When my boobs leave Victoria Secret territory and start galloping at top speed to Frederick's of Hollywood territory, there is a *major* problem.)
Oh, and throw in the fact that I've vowed (yes, I said VOWED), I would also work out, albeit gently, while I cleansed, I have my work cut out for me.
(I love the weighted hula hoop SO much... and all you have to move is your core)
Thank God I am always up for a challenge and occasional body deprivation.
My OCD needs to keep me involved.
(for those of you reading, let that be a lesson to you all! HAPPINESS MAKES YOU FAT!)
R: You're NOT fat.
Me: If my boobs have their own area code, then there's a problem
R: I don't see a problem with that at all
Yeah, I am still smaller than 70 percent of the people I know... but this is about HEALTH and the weight loss is actually secondary at this point.
(but, yeah, my clothes are all sized 5/6 and my rear end is decidedly a straight-up size 8/9 right now. When my boobs leave Victoria Secret territory and start galloping at top speed to Frederick's of Hollywood territory, there is a *major* problem.)
Oh, and throw in the fact that I've vowed (yes, I said VOWED), I would also work out, albeit gently, while I cleansed, I have my work cut out for me.
(I love the weighted hula hoop SO much... and all you have to move is your core)
Thank God I am always up for a challenge and occasional body deprivation.
My OCD needs to keep me involved.
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