Sometimes a woman feels like she's trapped in the Valley of the Dolls, a victim of her own self-loathing.
We all do this, at one time or another.
We all do this, at one time or another.
Sometimes, we need to kick our OWN selves in the tuchas and jump start our lives.
If I can be a catalyst to help others take back their power, even one person, then I've done my job.
We *all* deserve to be happy, empowered, AND healthy.
Over the last few days I've been thinking about the things in my life that I want to change and the reasons WHY I want to do them. I don't get this way often, but when it hits, it hits hard.
I've also been kind of going backwards and reliving certain aspects of my past, in order to try to suss out the reasons why I did what I did then and what I was *truly* feeling at the time. I've discovered that I am so much happier the older I get and wonder why that is true for me, but often not for others in my peer group.
When I was younger, I was often in the public eye. I was photographed a lot. That sort of thing puts tremendous pressure on a young woman to keep thin, to lose weight, to never feel satisfied with how one looks. Romantic partners with their own issues regarding age/looks can help to reinforce these negative thoughts. Women become objects of worship, of loathing, of lust. We become trapped in the sticky web of the Whore-Madonna syndrome of youth. Was it exciting? Sure. Was I happy? Hell no.
(I am still a great fan of lust, don't get me wrong here...)
A friend and I were talking just the other day about the odd paradox of relationship happiness and the growth of ass fat. When a woman is in a happy relationship, she often gains weight. The paradox is that when she gains weight, she in turn becomes unhappy with herself. A partner who tells their woman "I love you just the way you are" can sometimes find themselves at the receiving end of unexpected animosity.
When we are in unhappy or uneasy relationships, some women tend to lose weight or obsess over their looks. The thought here often is: "I am beautiful, I am fit, why am I still not good enough for him/her?" Even if this goes unsaid, it's still there, festering beneath the surface.
I've also been kind of going backwards and reliving certain aspects of my past, in order to try to suss out the reasons why I did what I did then and what I was *truly* feeling at the time. I've discovered that I am so much happier the older I get and wonder why that is true for me, but often not for others in my peer group.
When I was younger, I was often in the public eye. I was photographed a lot. That sort of thing puts tremendous pressure on a young woman to keep thin, to lose weight, to never feel satisfied with how one looks. Romantic partners with their own issues regarding age/looks can help to reinforce these negative thoughts. Women become objects of worship, of loathing, of lust. We become trapped in the sticky web of the Whore-Madonna syndrome of youth. Was it exciting? Sure. Was I happy? Hell no.
(I am still a great fan of lust, don't get me wrong here...)
A friend and I were talking just the other day about the odd paradox of relationship happiness and the growth of ass fat. When a woman is in a happy relationship, she often gains weight. The paradox is that when she gains weight, she in turn becomes unhappy with herself. A partner who tells their woman "I love you just the way you are" can sometimes find themselves at the receiving end of unexpected animosity.
When we are in unhappy or uneasy relationships, some women tend to lose weight or obsess over their looks. The thought here often is: "I am beautiful, I am fit, why am I still not good enough for him/her?" Even if this goes unsaid, it's still there, festering beneath the surface.
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| The Pushme-Pullyou of the Female Psyche. |
Why is this?
I believe it is because people are mirrors of each other. We humans often look into the eyes of others to try to see ourselves. We are tribal creatures. We thrive on approval and whatever we perceive as Love (which *does* vary from person to person depending upon what type of nurturing style you received as a child).
Quite frankly, I've never really wanted to look good for anyone but myself. Being self-absorbed sometimes has it's advantages. So many women I know have the opposite issue- they *need* to be validated through another person's eyes instead of their own. They thrive upon the approval and opinions of others. I really feel for these women. It seems to me that in some cases they've given their power away and are helpless to get it back (if they even had it in the first place).
After a woman hits 40, I feel it's time to ditch Lolita and embrace the Warrior Goddess inside each of us.
These are the times to not give a flying f&*k and start LOVING of yourself, without having to worry about if you're dressing appropriately for your age or if you're 'conservative' enough, et cetera. I believe I have earned the right to my opinions, my healthy self-esteem (which, like everyone, ebbs and flows), and my RIGHT to not pander to the opinions of others.
I believe that Beauty comes in ALL shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds.
On the flip side, I also think that overweight is the number ONE cause of illness in the United States. People no longer understand what a healthy weight LOOKS LIKE.
On the flip side, I also think that overweight is the number ONE cause of illness in the United States. People no longer understand what a healthy weight LOOKS LIKE.
When I gain just 20 lbs, my own blood pressure sky rockets, so I am very intimate with the correlation between overweight and health.
When I say that we don't know what healthy LOOKS like, I don't mean that we all should look like the cookie-cutter Skeletor-armed visages that we see in Vogue.
I am talking about being healthy for one's frame and body type.
I have friends who are big girls who have ZERO health problems... and then there are people like me who are normally small that get loads of health problems if they gain 20 lbs or so.
When I say that we don't know what healthy LOOKS like, I don't mean that we all should look like the cookie-cutter Skeletor-armed visages that we see in Vogue.
I am talking about being healthy for one's frame and body type.
I have friends who are big girls who have ZERO health problems... and then there are people like me who are normally small that get loads of health problems if they gain 20 lbs or so.
The US has seen a huge increase in obesity over the last 30 yrs. I believe that this is due to food additives, hormones, steroids, and whatever else Big Business and Big Pharma have been doctoring our food supply with.
You just can't win nowadays.
You just can't win nowadays.
The 'Pinch an Inch' campaign from Special K cereal in the late 1970s would shock folks born in the 1980s. We have the media now telling us that people with only an inch of body fat are suffering from eating disorders. Society wants us to be thin and beautiful, but it also wants to punish us for not being fat like everyone else.
This is the reason why I do the Master Cleanse.
It's an easy remedy to modern living, it costs very little, and it puts you back in the control seat. You don't need pills or doctors or gurus... just some lemonade.
I've been doing it off and on for years and it's reversed high blood pressure, improved my complexion and physical health, sloughed off extra pounds, and helped me find a more Zen outlook and find a sense of empowerment. I go through 'fat' phases like everyone else, but I have a tool in my arsenal that is both healthy and easy to do.
For those who don't know about the Master Cleanse, here is a great link:
http://themastercleanse.org/
Here's another great link on what happens to your body during the different stages of detoxification during juice fasts (like the Master Cleanse):
http://www.mastercleanser.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7075
In my Essential Links section on the right of this page I also have links to the pdf form of the original book and to the Master Cleanser forums (which is a great resource and support group).
I am starting a 30 day cleanse today. If anyone wants to join me, whether you wish to do a 5, 10, or longer cleanse, please do!
I wish you all great success and love on this journey :)
I am starting a 30 day cleanse today. If anyone wants to join me, whether you wish to do a 5, 10, or longer cleanse, please do!
I wish you all great success and love on this journey :)
I don't even know where to scratch the surface on America's weight/health problems. My advice for anyone who lives here is to eat fresh foods and get plenty of exercise. The nature of destroying our health (for whatever reasons) has become intricately complex, but the best solution is to keep things simple. Not convenient, but simple.
ReplyDeleteyou're right-- it's extremely complex, so many factors have been contributing to our demise in this country:
ReplyDeleteFood, the portion size, lack of exercise, technology are just some I can think of off the bat.
When I lived in Europe, I walked *everywhere* and ate *everything* (I kid you not. I would suck down cream puffs and foie gras like it was my JOB), but still maintained a size 3/4 US dress size.
The minute I'd come home- BAM! I'd gain 20 lbs in a month if I didn't low carb and work out at least an hour or more everday.
I lived in NYC after Europe and (mainly because of all the walking, though I was the Queen of Car Service use, too) though I gained a bit, it was no where near what one could gain living, say, in a small town.
I think the solution is to win the Lotto and move overseas LOL...